Hermione's Dreams
by Hermione's Spirit
Summary: What happened to Hermione Granger? What went on inside her head before, and during the war. Well read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione's Dreams

A.N: This story is about Hermione's seventh year in Hogwarts, this is before HBP. I hope that everybody enjoys it. Please, if you read it REVIEW! Disclaimer: I don not own any of the Harry Potter Characters, they all belong to J.K Rowling.

Chapter One: Delilah

She is not a black cat crossing your path,

She is not a crisp golden ring on your finger.

She is not a Slytherinish Snake waiting to ensnare you,

She is the lone rose in the middle of the meadow.

She is like the crash of broken glass, sharp and quick, but;

She is gentle, like the soft swish of breeze against the a ocean.

She is the truth waiting to be set free,

She is no Delilah.

**_This Journal is dedicated to Severus Snape and Sirius Black, if anything should happen to me, or I give this over willingly I want both of you to read it and to know the truth. The poem above will make more sense once this is complete. _**

It is a Saturday night and I, Hermione Jane Granger am sitting on my bed listening to my roommates babble. For some reason I cannot stop thinking about either of you. Sirius, you with your perfect smile, and a great sense of understanding. Severus, your perfect flawless hair, and that humor of yours. You can sit and make me laugh for hours. I feel that this is the only way I can let out my feelings, I am to much of a coward to admit them to you in person. Severus, just for the reference I am not going out with Sirius, no matter what you think. That day in your office Severus, No matter what Ginny said I just could not defend myself because I wanted it to be true, but I now know that it will never be true. The only thing that ever happened between our letters was that I offered Sirius a backrub to relieve the stress and he offered to take me to lunch, as friends. I don't know how many time's I'm going to have to say that to you in order for in to penetrate through you thick skull Severus. But then again, there is not enough brain there to receive the information. It's not that I don't like you, I do. You are one of my closest friends here at Hogwarts. You just need to know the truth even if the truth does hurt. One thing that you have to do Severus, If I don't make it though this war, you have to tell Sirius everything that went on in your office that Wednesday afternoon. With everything that has been going on in the past week I should be really stress out but I'm not. Maybe that's because I'm thinking about the two of you. The following poem is for Sirius. There will be random poems for one or the both of you throughout this journal.

_The stars twinkle in the heavens above, as if summoned by the Angels._

_The breeze blows across the ocean, like horses running across the open prairie;_

_As we walk along the beach. _

_We stop and you turn me around to look at you. Your eyes pierce me, like a needle piercing the cloth, you see through my soul._

_You lean towards me and the world stops turning._

_The Mermaids are dancing across the Ocean floor with happiness. _

_The Angels look down from the heavens above approvingly. _

_Your hair falls across your face as the stars twinkle in your eyes. _

_As you lean closer a buzzer sounds, and I wake up,_

_I begin another day without you in it. _

Severus leaned back in his chair, furious at Hermione, at Sirius. _Why am I reading her journal?_ Severus thought as he looked into the flames.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Confessions

_A.N: Italisized is Severus, Bold is Albus, and Bold/Italisized is the journal. Enjoy. _

_Severus poured him some vodka and began to read again, a little calmer than before. _

**_I am in Arithmacy right now thinking about you Sirius. What are you doing before you start you night shift at St. Mungo's. I know we are not speaking right now, mostly thanks to Severus…_ **_What the hell have I done? Severus thought as he through the journal across the room. It landed in the sink. Why him? Why not me? Severus thought as he went to retrieve the journal. He began to read once more. _**_…thanks to Severus, and its tearing me up inside. Damn Severus and all his Severusness, Is that even a word? Don't think so, but it works, I still love him for it though. I love you both just not in the same way. I find it highly amusing that once I stopped taking notice of Remus, he started noticing me. That's irony for you._ **_She like Remus to? What was up with her and teachers? I guess she just like older men because she was very mature herself.** I can't belive that my birthday is only a month and twenty five days away, May 28. I can't believe that I'll be seventeen, it seem like I came to Hogwarts only yesterday. And Now Severus, here is a poem for you:**_

**_You look at me as I walk your way,_**

**_With those soft green eyes._**

**_Your like a lemur, jumping all around,_**

**_Your like onyx, solid black and comforting._**

**_I am the flower and you are the sun,_**

**_You give me life._**

**_You are the moon in the heavens above,_**

**_You are there but barely out of my reach._**

_A silent tear ran down his face. How could he have been so damn stubborn? He threw the journal, but this time he aimed for the fire. There was a loud explosion and as he looked up he saw coals coming at him, felt the piercing pain of fire on his face, and then everything faded into nothingness. He could feel no more. _

_He felt someone rubbing something on his face, it felt cold. He slowly opened his eyes and saw nothing but white. He could here voice's. Albus? Apparently he had spoken out loud. _

**"I am right here Severus, you need not to worry."**_ He heard the comforting voice say. Wait…why should he be worried. Without even speaking he heard the reply._

**"You are blind Severus. Minerva found you in you quarters, blood all over your face and a book in your hand. We tried to find out what the book is, but its pages are blank. Would you care to explain."** _Once again a silent tear fell down his cheek, he felt it role over the bumps of what used to be perfect skin. What had happened to him? What had Hermione done. "_**What are you talking about Severus, Hermione is dead.**_ She died in the war."Couldn't the old man stay out of his mind? Couldn't he respect his privacy, he thought as he slowly drifted of to sleep, feeling weaker than he had in years. _

_-_

_Severus could here voices. Was that Albus? _ **Yes I'm here, Severus. You were about to tell me why you have this book. Who's book it is. **_It is Hermione's journal. I found it in my room the night after, his voice cracked. Wait was that his voice? Why wasn't he talking?_** Your not talking Severus because you have Post Traumatic Syndrome. You are unable to speak. For some reason your vocal cords are not allowing you to speak. It is up to you to get yourself out of it. (A.N: I Could not think of the name for Post Traumatic Syndrome, is that correct for this situation? If not, please email me and let me know so that I may make some corrections.) **_Why does this happen to me? I thought everything was going to be over after that damn war, and then this happens. Why did I have to get that damn journal! _**Because she obviously had something to tell you Severus, you should continue to read it. **_How am I supposed to read it? I'm blind. _**Well I believe that if Hermione really wanted you to read this, and I think she did because she used some powerful magic to protect it, then she would have been prepared for this. She was a smart girl you know. Here, read. **_Albus grabbed my hand and put the journal in it. It was in my memory, the words. Like fire etched on stone. All I had to do was to touch the page. **I hope your okay Sirius. The scariest thing happened to me last night. **Sirius dropped the book. He did not want to read anything about Sirius, the bastard. He took Hermione away from him. She loved Sirius more than he loved him. _**You know that's not true Severus, now read!**_ God that man was demanding. Why is he still in my thoughts? Severus picked up the book and began again. **…last night. I set my alarm clock for seven, to wake up to Keith Urban. For the past year I could not make it wake me up to music. Well after I wrote your letter I went to bed at eleven. Even though I set my alarm clock for seven if went off at **_ **_midnight_****_, playing Keith Urban really loud. It really scared me. Then after I finally went to sleep again I had a dream that you died in a car crash. You had ran of the rode trying not to hit the child standing there. When I say the child' face Sirius, it was mine. Does that mean I will accidentally kill you? I hope not, but I don't know what is happening to me. It is way to much of a coincidence. I need to talk to Dumbledore. I hope that nothing happens. I love you way to much. To make matters worse, it is a cloudy day. It is very depressing. _**_Severus could not read anymore. What was wrong with her? Couldn't she see that Sirius was just stringing her along? Wait didn't she say that she was going to talk to Albus? Did she? _**Yes she did Severus, and she was in tears the entire time. She told me that she would not be able to forgive herself if anything every happened to him. **_Well now shouldn't he be the one beating himself up about it, not her. She was dead, and it was all Black's fault. He did not protect her. And now he's parading around with another women, not even a month after her death. I guess every ones true colors come out in the end. But then again you didn't protect her either did you Severus. _**Don't think that way Severus; it is not your fault that she is dead. There is only one person to blame and that is Voldemort. He was the one that killed her not you. **_But I wasn't their when she needed me. I heard her screaming but I did not run. I was to busy fighting Black. Under the Imperious Curse my ass. I know the Imperious Curse, I've been under it. He did all of that under his free will, but did he get criticized? No! and you know why? Because he is Potter's Godfather. Nobody would want to cross the almighty Potter, the one who defeated Voldemort. Well what about us Albus? We were there to, why won't anyone believe us when we tell them the truth._**I don't believe that he was under the ImperiusCurse either, but that wasn't my call, at least that is what theMinistry said. And,b****ecause my boy, sometimes the truth is just too painful to hear. People often chose to believe what they want to believe. Not what has really happened. Why do you care so much anyways? **_Because Albus, I love Her. _

_**A.N: So, What does everybody think? I was going to make this chapter two chapters but then I decided that you all needed one long chapter. I Hope that it wasn't to difficult to understand. Anyways, Read and REVIEW! Thanks. **_

****

**_Hermione's Spirit_**


	3. Chapter 3

1A.N: Well here is another Chapter, I hope you like it so please, please review/

Chapter Three: Blackness and Torture

The weeks dragged on for Severus as he sat in the hospital wing. They had finally taken his bandages off, they said that he had been lucky._ I would rather be dead right now than stuck in this world. What is the use of living when you can't see anything. _Severus heard the door to the hospital wing slowly creep open, he heard the shuffling of feet. _Must be Potter and his nosey friend, I wonder what they want. _

"**Severus, Harry is here to see you." Poppy said as she brought a chair over. "I don't know how you are going to talk to him Harry, as you know he can't see and he can't speak. The only one here who can communicate with him is Albus. Really that man can work wonders." **_The only reason that you can't understand me women is because I don't want you to. _Even though Severus had not talked Harry had heard every word. "If you don't want her to understand you Professor than why are you allowing me to understand you?" _Because Potter, you were Hermione's friend and you were there when she died. _

_-_

Harry did not understand why he was going up to see Snape, after all he was the reason that Hermione was dead. He did not stop Lucius when he could have. And to make matters even worse the bastard blamed Sirius, not himself. By the time that he reached the hospital wing Harry was shaking with anger, he had to force himself to calm down before he opened the door. Poppy walked over to him with a sorrowful expression on her face. She walked over to Professor Snape, Harry noticed how he sat in the bed by the window, not moving when the door had opened. It was almost as if he were a vegetable. That was when all of Harry's anger melted away. **"Severus, Harry is here to see you." **Harry watched as Madame Pomfrey moved a chair closer to Snape and motioned for Harry to sit. **"I don't know how you are going to talk to him Harry, as you know he can't see and he can't speak. The only one here who can communicate with him is Albus. Really that man can work wonders." **Harry chuckled at what he heard next. _The only reason that you can't understand me women is because I don't want you to. _Harry had to admit that the man was brilliant. But why did he want to speak to me. It's not as if I'm anyone special. He voiced this out loud, and was shaken by the answer. _Because Potter, You were Hermione's friend and you were there when she died. _Harry was dumbfounded. "Of course I was there when she died, I watched Lucius kill her and I watched you stand by, fighting Sirius over some highschool grudge, and you watched her die! I thought that you cared about her Professor, obviously I was wrong." There was a loud crash as something went flying through the window. _Don't you ever tell me I did not care Potter! Do you here me? Ever! I loved her more than anyone can love a person. Tell me Potter what were you doing when Lucius was slowly raping her? Who were you fighting? Voldemort was already dead. So tell me Potter, were standing by and watching? _There was silence as Harry shook with rage. How dare this man stand by and accuse him of being evil? He was not the one who had attacked Sirius. He was not the one who attacked Hermione. He had killed the most powerful dark wizard of all time. _So it's true them. Well, well Potter, wouldn't your father be proud. Yes I did despise him, but right now he looks like an angel compared to you. _

Not another word was spoken. Within the next moment Harry had lunged at Severus and had tackled him to the floor. As he was about to punch him Harry noticed for the first time the scars that were embedded in his Professors face. They zig-zagged across Snapes face like lightning across the night sky. Just as he was about to say something the door to the hospital wing creped open. Harry turned to see who it was but the next thing he new he had been knocked to the floor. _Black, how dare you show your face in my pressance! Did you forget that had it not been for Albus I would have killed you that night? What makes you think that I won't do it again? _Severus had Sirius pinned up against the wall with one hand. **"What are you doing Snape? Why are you attacking me like this?" **_What was Black talking about? Hadn't he just heard him? Harry and Albus could hear him through his thoughts. _

"**Harry would you mind helping me out here? I think that he has gone insane." Sirius smirked as he spoke, for he was looking at Snape's scared up face. Now who was the one paying for Hermione's death? Sirus looked over at Harry noticing that he hadn't moved. **

For Harry it all seamed to click at that moment. Why were he and Albus the only ones able to communicate with Severus? Were had Sirius been at the begining of the final battle? Could Snape and Albus actually be right? But the look in Sirius face as he looked upon Snape's face confirmed everything. Sirius was truly the evil one not Severus. He was the one who let Hermione die. He was the one who had led Voldemort straigh to them.

_**Flashback: **_

"_Hermione, were's Sirius? We need him if were going to fight this!" Harry yelled this as they were running through the forest. He noticed that Ron, Luna, Remus, Neville, Ginny, Fred, and George were following him and Hermione up the winding path. "I don't know Harry! I haven't seen him since breakfast this morning. He said that he had some things that he needed to do." Suddenly Harry stopped, he saw some sparks in the clearing up above, he heard someone scream. "Come on!" They began to make there way to the clearing. What they saw there was terrifying. Albus was fighting Bealatrix Black, Sirius and Snape were fighting, Lucius and Draco were also battling against one another. Draco had joined them at the end of there sixth year when everybody thought that Albus was dead. (One day during the summer Snape had emerged from the woods carrying Draco's limp body, he was barely alive himself. They had all forgiven him because they had seen that he was willing to risk his own life in order to protect another's. Even though he had killed Albus they had all decided that him and Albus had had the situation carefully planned. They assumed this even though Snape would not share his thoughts with anyone, not even Hermione, who had gotten extremely close with him over the past year. And after all Snape had found the only curse that was able to resurrect Albus before the final battle.) Harry saw Voldemort slowly emerge from the clearing. They walked towards one another. Two people walking slowly towards one another, cautiously in the midst of battle. "Well Potter it seems that your time has come at last, and with no one to protect you, not even mommy and daddy, what a shame." Voldemort laughed menacingly. Harry looked around and noticed that all of his friends were caught up in the battle, Hermione was now fighting Lucius who had killed Draco, Snape and Sirius were still fighting, Remus was holding of most of the Dementors. Ron Fred and George were fighting the Vampires who had showed up out of no where and he could not see Ginny and Neville. He spotted Luna who was coming through the clearing who was riding a unicorn, quickly followed by many others. She was not only followed by the Unicorns but also the centaurs, the thestrals, and the spiders. He smiled, leave it up to Luna to bring in the strangest reinforcements. "Stop looking for you friends Potter. I want you to stare me straight in the eyes when you die, just like your filthy mudblood mother."_

_Harry heard his mother screaming and the next thing that he knew he was throwing every curse that he could think of at Voldemort, including the Unforgivables, but they seemed to have no effect on him. Voldemort was laughing. Before he could react Harry threw the only other curse that he could think of at the grotesque man standing if front of him "Avada Kedavra!" There was a flash of green light, Harry felt the force of someone pushing him backwards and then there was blackness. _

_He felt pain like he never had before, pain through his heart. He opened his eyes to see what was going on. He heard someone scream and he looked over his shoulder. He saw Lucius on top of Hermione. She was screaming for Severus, Harry looked and saw Severus standing on the other end of the field. There was a sharp pain as he felt something collide with his head and then there was blackness. _

-

_The next thing that Harry remembered was waking up in the Hospital Wing, it seemed as if he spent a lot of time there lately. Albus told him that he had defeated Voldemort, even though he was still weak Poppy had allowed a small celebration party that night, consisting of the people who were in the Hospital Wing because of the battle. Harry looked around and saw Ron, George, Neville, Remus, Snape, Sirius, and Albus. But where were Ginny, Hermione, Neville, Fred, and Luna? Then Harry remembered Lucius and Hermione, not being able to find Ginny and Neville, and then the sickening thought hit him. The thought that would wake him up in the middle of the night because of his nightmares about them for many years to come. They were all dead. _

_**End of Flashback**_

_-_

Sirius and Snape had both noticed that Harry was not answering either of them. Sirius had noticed how pale Harry had gotten and how glazed over his eyes had gotten **"Snape, something wrong with Harry!" **_Severus had let go of Sirius and was making his way towards Harry. Harry? Harry! Can You Here me? He got no response. He heard Sirius yelling Harry's name and the next thing that Severus knew Sirius was shaking Harry, almost as if that that would help wake him up. They both sighed in relief as Harry's eyes began to flutter. Harry looked around confused and then the words that Severus had heard come out of his mouth were music to his ears. _"It was you. You killed her." He said this as he looked directly at Sirius Black, the blood traitor.

A.N: So what did you think? Was it to confusing. If you have any questions please email me. Anyways, Please, Please Read and REVIEW! Thanks!

Hermione's Spirit


	4. Author's Note

1**A.N: Sorry everyone but I won't be able to update until summer begins, I promise that I will finish the story, so check around June 5th. The Chapter may be short but I promise that I will have a new chapter up by then. Thanks for being Patient with me and thanks to all of my wonderful reviewer's, you are the reason that the story must continue. Have a good rest of school year! **


	5. Chapter Four

1**Hey everyone, here is another chapter after your long wait. Thanks to all of my patient readers...Enjoy!**

Chapter Four: The Truth of Lies

"You killed her. It was you!" Harry was becoming angrier by the minute.

"Now Harry let me explain..." Harry was advancing towards Sirius and the only place for Sirius to go was towards a wall.

"I don't need an explanation, I remember everything perfectly. How could you make Snape out to be a lier, when he has been right about you all along. Do you know that I actually thought that you loved her? How could you have let that happen to her? SHE LOVED YOU! Did that mean nothing to you?" Harry now had Sirius pinned up against the wall and all Severus did was sit there and listen to the disaster that was unfolding. Actually to him, it was more like a dream.

"But Harry, you don't understand! They had me under the Imperius Curse! I couldn't have saved her even if I wanted to. And how dare you blame me! Do you even know what she did the last few months of her life?..." Severus panicked at this. If Harry new what they had done together he would despise Hermione. He couldn't stand the thought of that.

"What's going on in here! Harry stop this nonsense!" Poppy said as she made her way over to him to try and break up the fight. The next thing that Severus heard was a sickening crunch and the sound of a body crumbling to the floor, and then silence.

"Poppy, I think that you need to send for the Head master and let him sort this whole thing out, as for me; I have some reading that needs to get done." And with then Severus left the room.

666

_**I miss you Sirius! You were so great to talk to. This day is going by so slowly, I just want it to be over with. This next poem is for you Sirius. There may be more poems in this book about you Sirius, but it's not that I like you more. Severus is just not a very poetic person. To be perfectly honest, I don't know which one of you I like better. I care for the both of you, just in different ways. **_

_**Black hair that reminds me of hell,**_

_**torture, a love that shouldn't be there. **_

_**I close my eyes and I see your face,**_

_**That smile that makes solid ice melt.**_

_**I don't know wether it's lust or love,**_

_**Are you daring enough to find out?**_

_**It seems like we have to go half way across the world just to be together.**_

_**Green eyes that make the strongest souls week.**_

_**Around you I feel you control me,**_

_**Do I like it?**_

_**My heart feel like a leaf in the wing; being carried away.**_

_**You are an intoxication,**_

_**I think I like it.**_

_**You are an addiction that I can not get enough of.**_

_**Like stars streaming across the sky,**_

_**I can't stop staring. **_

_**It's like being tangled inside of a spider's web,**_

_**Each time you try to escape your just pulled farther in.**_

_**You are mesmerized by the love that you think that you feel for him,**_

_**And you are touched to think that he loves you to. **_

The bastard! How could he have done this to Hermione! How could he make her feel this way. Was this all part of some sick joke that he played on women? Trapping them and then killing them slowly and painfully. **_Sirius, I feel like I can talk to you about anything after last night. U considered calling you Severus, but I remembered that you had a detention to monitor. Plus you probably would have killed my mom's boyfriend. Since Sirius already knows, let me fill you in: Well last night that my mom might have breast cancer, she is going in for more testing later this week. Well, last night_** **_her and her boyfriend got into a fight. There was a lot of yelling in her room. But I could here them on the other side of the house. I wanted to hit him so badly last night. If it was just this one time I wouldn't be nearly as mad. But it happens almost every week. It's driving me insane! Anyways, I was really upset so I sent a letter to Sirius, his response this morning was very comforting. _**How could he have been so blind. Didn't she try to talk to him about it? But he simply stated that it was her mother's problem, not her's. He could be as blind as a bat sometimes when it came to peoples fealings. **_I saw Sirius last night. I miss talking to him so much. He asked me if Severus was still harassing me about the letters. I said yes because he still is. He said "Well, I'll have to visit you guys again soon." That should be interesting. He still owes me dinner and I still owe him riding lessons. He stated that it must be awkward for me and my parents when he visits, my response was that my mom knows that we are keeping in touch, but I am almost seventeen and she can not do anything about it. _**Why did she have so much hatred for her mother?**_ Sirius contacted me last night. He asked me if Severus was still harassing me about keeping in contact with him. I told him yes, because he is, and it is getting pretty damn annoying. Sirius is so over protective when in come to dealing with Severus. His response was "Well I'll just have to visit you soon then." That should be interesting. _**Why had Hermione hated him so much? What had he done wrong? Severus asked himself as he poured another glass of vodka. **_After all I do owe him riding lessons..._**Severus could feel the burning sensation as the vodka spilled out of his nose. RIDING LESSONS! He didn't need to know the details!**_...I just know that Bagora will love him. I wonder if he has ever seen a black unicorn before? _**Severus did not realize that it was almost midnight as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep, something that he hadn't had in months.


End file.
